i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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