i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I deserve this hangover.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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