just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
