No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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