i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
