I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
