At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
