Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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(303): View more from Colorado

and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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(813): View more from Florida

They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.

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(240): View more from Maryland

boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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(205): View more from Alabama

Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..

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(502): View more from Kentucky

dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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(616): View more from Michigan

My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.

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