Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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