Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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