shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
