so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize