still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize