You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to sanitize my soul.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize