dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
