I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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