Well apparently he's into motor boating.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
