I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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