he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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