Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize