I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
