rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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