Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
