Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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