we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
