please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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