The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
