I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
