so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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