We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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