He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
