Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My vagina is very pro this idea
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