Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
