Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
