Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
wow bdsm is so cute
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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