garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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