Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
