How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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