These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
