I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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