We're facebook friends in real life
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
