yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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