I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
