is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
home. puking in laundry basket.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
