Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
