I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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