9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
