Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think my mom watched the whole time
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just found a bag of teeth...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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