Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
