I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
