(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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