the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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