i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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