margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
