I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Buhtt sex?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
