Your tits are I can't wait for
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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