she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
