two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
