PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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