She said her name was "party"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
