Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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