my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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