Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
