We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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