i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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