just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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