i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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